Why? This is a question I ask myself at times.
Why? Am I here?
Why? Am I am pain?
Why? Do I struggle?
Why? Can't we all get along?
And Why? Have I not been blessed with a beautiful daughter?
Why?
As I reflect I realize I bring on many of these things myself
through the decisions I made in life.
The decision to join the Navy, made me stronger in character.
Made me stronger as a person; but had its downfalls as well.
I loved to travel. I saw many exotic countries; yet fought in wars
in Lebanon, Bosnia, Iraq and Afghanistan.
I loved the sea life; yet was put down and struggled while on ship.
I loved socializing and meeting new people;
yet sometimes this led to mis-understanding.
Then I was injured when a cabinet fell and knocked me partly down a ladder-well;
causing muscle damage in my right shoulder, arthritis in my knees,
nerve damage in my neck, and pain and tingling through my right hand fingers.
Some of these things are not absolutely my fault,
but are due to factors of the environment, community, and economy.
The environment causes me pain when it gets colder.
The community is anti-social this day in age.
In this, so-called, high tech area of cell phones, twitter, and facebook;
I realize we are less social today, than we were back when I was a kid.
When I was a kid there were neighborhood block parties
where people socialized and got to know each other.
Where nieghbors were trustworthy and everyone knew each others children.
If a child was lost. A neighbor could take them in and call the parents.
Not today.
It is nothing but mass messaging and it is anti-personal.
And the economy we struggle with monies and it is tough to make ends meet.
I ask Why?
But the answer is we make our own fate.
We have to pray daily and be guided by the lord.
We have to help one another and be more social.
And when someone needs guidance, encourage them.
Then we will have a better world.
Then when I keep the faith,
I will be blessed with an beautiful adopted daughter of my own one day.
God is good and I will praise him.
