Life is good!

Updates for this month.

I went to the pain clinic to get my  pain shots.

Now my pain is in control.

I started a new course on becoming a pastor.

I am doing studies in theology and religion.

I am planning on opening my own art studio for children.

And finally came up with the finances to get a new roof on my house.

God is good!

Reflections this morning.

This morning studies:
Though have have much on my mind and have to vent at times
I still read my inspired faith, look up the bible verse, and study gods word.
This is what keeps me going my friends, shipmates and peeps.
I know the lord will not give me more than I can handle.
For he is truly good and he has plans for me.
I do much with the church being on the board of trustees as the secretary,
on the education committee doing children's time one Sunday a month,
helping with cleaning the toys at the Bethany Home,
and do readings to children.
Sometimes when I am in pain I feel that I scare people,
I get goofy at times, because I do not want to scream
but this makes me look childish.
I reflected on this and hope to do better.
Once a week I have a bible study here at my house
and learn from the those who teach me.
I swim and do my physical therapy,
get my massage once a month,
and strive to better myself.
I am slowly working to learn what I need to know for my 7th dan,
but only once a month. I do not want to over do it.
Those who I have frighten through my pain I apologize,
those children whom I inspired god be with you,
and those who pray for me I thank you.
I know I can't force people to like me,
but will always strive to inspire others;
and be less goofy as I control my pain.
Thank you always for being with me. 

I am in need of prayers!

Pray for me my friends.
My life is a turmoil.
Roof needs fixed still,
bills coming in,
got a loan to fix my car,
which I don't know how I am going to pay back,
have a social security disability meeting tomorrow
in which my lawyer is for the administration.
She is not on my side.
I fought for three years as a disabled veteran
to get my social security benefits.
Now they are slapping it back in my face.
The Social Security Admin said that college is like work, no it is not.
Work would not let me miss 10 days due to pain during winter classes, would not give me extra time on testing due to lack of focus caused from equilibrium imbalance, nor would they let me leave when feeling pain.
When I worked at Per Mar Security I had trouble staying awake
when taking my pain pills, and nearly lost the job.
My supervisor wrote a letter to the VA stating that I am unemployable.
But non of this matters to Social Security.
You have to have no limbs or be a minority to get benefits.
Pray for me and all I am going through.

What my life become inspite of being bullied!

Thought of what I became through being bullied:
Though I am different,
I overcame animosity.
I excelled in my life because of it.
Now have a masters degree, a high ranked black belt,
and served a long Naval career.
Retired from the Navy and became a Sea Cadet Officer.
Have a wife who works with the community, runs the food pantry food,
and works on the worship committee.
Have a son who has a academic scholarship at University of Illinois
to become an engineer; who excels in math, music, and arts.
Who likes to parkour and holds a black belt in karate.
Have another son who likes soccer and football.
But who gets bullied like I did.
He will overcome and excel; I have faith in that.
Now I work as the Board of Trustees Secretary for
Bethel Wesley United Methodist Church,
work with Children's Time once a month,
Sing in the Choir,
and teach an art class once a week.
I volunteer to help others overcome their animosity at the Bethany Home.
And I overcame the bullying in my life.
To all those who made fun of me,
called me names,
put me down,
and told me that I was not going to amount to much.
SCREW YOU!

Why?

Why? This is a question I ask myself at times.

Why? Am I here?

Why? Am I am pain?

Why? Do I struggle?

Why? Can't we all get along?

And Why? Have I not been blessed with a beautiful daughter? 

Why?

As I reflect I realize I bring on many of these things myself
through the decisions I made in life.

The decision to join the Navy, made me stronger in character. 
Made me stronger as a person; but had its downfalls as well.
I loved to travel. I saw many exotic  countries; yet fought in wars
in Lebanon, Bosnia, Iraq and Afghanistan. 
I loved the sea life; yet was put down and struggled while on ship.
I loved socializing and meeting new people;
yet sometimes this led to mis-understanding.
Then I was injured when a cabinet fell and knocked me partly down a ladder-well;
causing muscle damage in my right shoulder, arthritis in my knees,
nerve damage in my neck, and pain and tingling through my right hand fingers.


Some of these things are not absolutely my fault,
but  are due to factors of the environment, community, and economy.

The environment causes me pain when it gets colder. 
The community is anti-social this day in age.
In this, so-called, high tech area of cell phones, twitter, and facebook;
I realize we are less social today, than we were back when I was a kid.
When I was a kid there were neighborhood block parties
where people socialized and got to know each other.
Where nieghbors were trustworthy and everyone knew each others children.
If a child was lost. A neighbor could take them in and call the parents. 
Not today.
It is nothing but mass messaging and it is anti-personal.
And the economy we struggle with monies and it is tough to make ends meet.

I ask Why?

But the answer is we make our own fate.
We have to pray daily and be guided by the lord.
We have to help one another and be more social.
And when someone needs guidance, encourage them.
Then we will have a better world.

Then when I keep the faith,
I will be blessed with an beautiful adopted daughter of my own one day.
God is good and I will praise him. 

Camping Trip at Lake McBride 2013

Camping Trip at Lake McBride:

Thursday 4 July 2013:

On this 4^th of July we made sure all the camping gear was in the van, all of the stuff I pulled out yesterday. We got most of the van loaded yesterday as well. Today we made sure that we did not miss anything, because we are leaving for Lake McBride the first thing in the morning.

Tonight we lit our display of firecrackers, bottle rockets, mini fireworks, smoke bombs, and snakes. It was fun. Afterwards we went to the movies. I saw, “White House Down”. Jill saw, “Heat”. And Ken saw, “Despicable Me 2”.

Friday 5 July 2013:

It is 10AM and we are on our way to Lake McBride. At just before noon we arrived in Solon Iowa. Ken wanted pizza, so we stopped at a place called DD’s Pizza. It was not worth it. It was the worst pizza I ever had. We left nearly a whole pie there and we did not get any money back. The customer service was terrible. The sauce was completely bland. It was right out of a can. The server told us that there is nothing she can do about it. That is what the owner wants. She also said that she likes the sauce. She must have been out of her mind. She does not know what good pizza is. Chicago has good pizza. Solon Iowa has shitty pizza.

At 1PM we got to a camping site by the lake and set up camp at site 56. We got the tent set up, the air mattresses blown up, and everything. We then went exploring around the lake.

Today Ken and I made a friend, Sydney who is a 10 year old girl who was fishing on the pier. I hope she does not forget me and what I did for her. It is a long story. When Ken and I went exploring we saw her fishing so we got our fishing gear and decided to go fishing ourselves. We chatted with her and she was a kind well-mannered girl. She offered us live bait to use. We all sat on the pier fishing. Giggling and having fun. Then I took off my shoes and rolled up my jeans to put my feet in the water. I slipped, but the water as not too deep. It went up to my knees. I pulled myself back up on the pier and continued fishing. Then Sydney took her shorts off, she had a full one-piece swimsuit on, and jumped into the water. There was a sign that said no swimming, but we did not see it at that time. She drifted toward the deep water and the current took her. She yelled, “Help” I jumped in and grabbed her and pulled her toward the pier. We grabbed her stuff and Ken and I walked her back to her camp. She was shook up a bit. I talked to her dad, and told him what happened. Instead of thanking me and shaking my hand, he swore at me. Instead of giving her a hug; he swore at her. He was not very polite and I was thinking to myself. Why were you not watching your daughter? The grandparents were there and I said Hi to them. I asked him about his tattoo. He said he just got out of prison. I thought he was kidding, but he wasn’t. Anyway I tried to do the right thing and help a child. We said goodbye. They ended up leaving the camp. Thank God. I pray for her, because of the bad influence of such a family. Ironically she was too polite and friendly to be with such a family. If I ever had a daughter she would be treated with respect. They are the most precious of children. Anyway, Ken and I went back to fishing for awhile. Then we changed out of the wet cloths and hung them on a clothesline we strung. Then my wife got back from paying camp fees, she missed the entire incident.

At 3PM we left and went down to the beach. My wife bought some floatee chairs for the beach. We swam, floated, played football, and I read some of my book at the beach. We had a blast.

Then at 5PM we left to go back to camp. We just got a fire going and had the Coleman stove lit. We were starting to make dinner, when all of the sudden this couple arrived and said that this site was reserved for them. It was way under all of the cards that was on the post. So we had to pack up the camp and find another spot. I put out the fire and cooled the wood, Ken grabbed the spare pieces. We were not letting them have our wood. Then we took everything out of the tent, deflated the mattresses, and threw everything in the back of the van. We found a spot at site10. Then we had to reset up camp.

At 7PM we finally ate chops from the campfire. Then Jill did the dishes. Then we reorganized the back of the van the best we could. Afterwards I went to socialize with some fellow campers. I met a nice gentleman named Justin and his family. He had a 4 year old girl and I told him what happened earlier today. He told me that he would have been watching his daughter and that I did the right thing. He said he would have thanked me. He had a 10 year old son, and two dogs, a golden retriever and boxer, as well. They said that they come up here camping on the 4^th of July weekend. They are from Davenport.

At 9PM we sang some campfire songs and had some s’mores. Then we tried to get some shut eye. But it was too loud. At 1030PM the state park rangers came around, to tell everyone that it is quite time. But it went out the ears of most. The campers next to us got drunk and played loud music until 2AM. My friend Justin and his family were pretty polite. But no one could quiet other disrespectful campers. At 3AM we finally fell asleep.

Saturday 6^th July 2013:

It is 5AM and I am up after only sleeping two hours. I slept outside as well, since the tent is not that big. I got some wood to split and got the campfire going again. Then I lit the stove and started making some bacon. My wife came out of the tent and said she did not sleep well with the screaming kids, loud music, and disrespectful campers. I hear her. No one could really sleep.

I turned around to get my pills out of my bag and the bacon pan slid off the stove. This entire trip has been a mess so far. My wife put new bacon on the pan and we cooked eggs as well. Good old fashioned camp food of bacon and eggs. The breakfast was good.

At 8AM Ken and I headed down to the beach. We rented a canoe and attempted to go canoeing for an hour. Ken could not get the hang of it, so we rented individual kayaks. Ken tipped over in his kayak and I jumped out to get him and then pulled his kayak ashore. I asked if he wanted to try it again and he did, so I made sure his life jacket was on properly and he got back in his kayak and paddled out. I thought he had the hang of it, so I paddled out in mine and followed around the lake for an hour. I looked behind me and did not see Ken; he was just a few yards from shore. I paddled to find him and then tethered his kayak to mine and pulled us both back to shore.

By then it was 1030AM and my wife was back from shopping in town. She went to go get another air mattress, since mine popped. I made me a peanut butter, black jam, and crumbled potato chip sandwich. Then went down and joined Jill and Ken at the picnic table. Ken was eating geedunk from the snack machines. Jill made herself a sandwich and we all ate.  We then hung around the beach for most of the day.

At 2PM we left the beach to go back to camp. Jill said she was tired and wanted to sleep, so she did. Ken and I left to go find some trails. It was nearly an hour drive to the other camp areas like Sugar Plum. We explored the other camping areas. Then ended up in the town of Sugar Plum and was lost. This jogger stopped and she gave us directions to the dam and the fossil gorge. After exploring the fossil gorge we found the nature trail and then the Veterans Trail. We walked the Veterans Trail with a fellow veteran who arrived on his motorcycle at the same time. His name was Reverend John Poggenpohl he helps out fellow veterans who are homeless and those in prison through his ministries. He is noble.

At 6PM we made it back to camp and then cooked some chicken on the campfire. We ate and then went into town to get some burn ointment and some pain pills. My family got sunburned badly. On the way there we discussed what our next move will be. Since the campsite was so loud and my family was burnt we decided to leave camp. When we got back from town we broke down camp quickly. Unfortunately, the stakes for the tent would not come out. The lady next to us gave me a stake puller, but it bent. So I cut the straps and broke down the tent. I took down the clothesline and did one last good deed. The new camper next too us did not know how to play the guitar and asked me to play a song on his. So I did and then showed him so chords.

At 9PM we arrived in Iowa City and at the Comfort Inn Hotel were we stayed in a cool air conditioned room. Ken and I cooled down and swam in the hotel pool. He could not sleep with his wax build up, so at 3AM Jill left to get some hydrogen peroxide. At 3:15 AM she arrived back and Ken flushed his ears.

Sunday 7 July 2013:

Afterwards we finally slept until 9AM. We got up and went down to the free continental breakfast. We then left for home at 10:30AM. At just before noon we arrived back home. I actually wanted to go back to the lake and check out the other trails. But my family wanted to go home. So the camping trip was cut short. It was kinda a waste. 

Life is a mess right now!

Oh my god Jehovah, help me through these trying times.
Help me through this stress and my personal issues.
Lord remind me who I am.

Lord God, Jehovah, let me nor my family struggle no more.
Let us have our roof fixed soon, let us have our ceiling fixed,
let us have our new door and eventually windows and siding.
Let us have our new tiles and let us have a nice home to life our life's in. 

Let us have no more financial troubles,
let my friends over come their troubles as well.
In your great and precious name I pray.
Lord forgive me for my sins.
Let me do those sins no more.

In your great and precious name.
Amen!