My Reflection!

My reflection -
When I reflect I know how good God is.
No matter what happened in my life I always strove forward,
when I fell Jehovah lifted me up,
when I got ill he touched the healing hands of Jesus upon me,
when I did well I did not always praise him,
but he forgave me,
When I did bad I got angry,
but he still lifted me up
and when I think of tomorrow I know he will be there for me again.
When I fight for benefits,
maybe god is telling me he has another plan for me.
As I study his word I seek him.
He will not let me fall to deep.
I put my trust in him.
Only god knows what my future holds.

I am so thankful this day!

"Give Thanks to the God of heaven
for his love endures forever."
Psalm 136:26 NIV

"O give thanks unto the God of heaven:
for his mercy endureth for ever."
Psalm 136:26 KJV

"Blessings hemmed with praise will not unravel."
Anonymous

 Dearest Lord Jehovah,
I give you all the praise and glory for the new roof,
I give you thanks for guiding me in my life and lifting me up when I fall.
Teach me to praise you by remembering your goodness toward me.
Help me to show thanks to those in my my life who help me,
and help me to nurture those relationships.
In your holy and precious name I pray. Amen.

Life is good!

Updates for this month.

I went to the pain clinic to get my  pain shots.

Now my pain is in control.

I started a new course on becoming a pastor.

I am doing studies in theology and religion.

I am planning on opening my own art studio for children.

And finally came up with the finances to get a new roof on my house.

God is good!

Reflections this morning.

This morning studies:
Though have have much on my mind and have to vent at times
I still read my inspired faith, look up the bible verse, and study gods word.
This is what keeps me going my friends, shipmates and peeps.
I know the lord will not give me more than I can handle.
For he is truly good and he has plans for me.
I do much with the church being on the board of trustees as the secretary,
on the education committee doing children's time one Sunday a month,
helping with cleaning the toys at the Bethany Home,
and do readings to children.
Sometimes when I am in pain I feel that I scare people,
I get goofy at times, because I do not want to scream
but this makes me look childish.
I reflected on this and hope to do better.
Once a week I have a bible study here at my house
and learn from the those who teach me.
I swim and do my physical therapy,
get my massage once a month,
and strive to better myself.
I am slowly working to learn what I need to know for my 7th dan,
but only once a month. I do not want to over do it.
Those who I have frighten through my pain I apologize,
those children whom I inspired god be with you,
and those who pray for me I thank you.
I know I can't force people to like me,
but will always strive to inspire others;
and be less goofy as I control my pain.
Thank you always for being with me. 

I am in need of prayers!

Pray for me my friends.
My life is a turmoil.
Roof needs fixed still,
bills coming in,
got a loan to fix my car,
which I don't know how I am going to pay back,
have a social security disability meeting tomorrow
in which my lawyer is for the administration.
She is not on my side.
I fought for three years as a disabled veteran
to get my social security benefits.
Now they are slapping it back in my face.
The Social Security Admin said that college is like work, no it is not.
Work would not let me miss 10 days due to pain during winter classes, would not give me extra time on testing due to lack of focus caused from equilibrium imbalance, nor would they let me leave when feeling pain.
When I worked at Per Mar Security I had trouble staying awake
when taking my pain pills, and nearly lost the job.
My supervisor wrote a letter to the VA stating that I am unemployable.
But non of this matters to Social Security.
You have to have no limbs or be a minority to get benefits.
Pray for me and all I am going through.

What my life become inspite of being bullied!

Thought of what I became through being bullied:
Though I am different,
I overcame animosity.
I excelled in my life because of it.
Now have a masters degree, a high ranked black belt,
and served a long Naval career.
Retired from the Navy and became a Sea Cadet Officer.
Have a wife who works with the community, runs the food pantry food,
and works on the worship committee.
Have a son who has a academic scholarship at University of Illinois
to become an engineer; who excels in math, music, and arts.
Who likes to parkour and holds a black belt in karate.
Have another son who likes soccer and football.
But who gets bullied like I did.
He will overcome and excel; I have faith in that.
Now I work as the Board of Trustees Secretary for
Bethel Wesley United Methodist Church,
work with Children's Time once a month,
Sing in the Choir,
and teach an art class once a week.
I volunteer to help others overcome their animosity at the Bethany Home.
And I overcame the bullying in my life.
To all those who made fun of me,
called me names,
put me down,
and told me that I was not going to amount to much.
SCREW YOU!

Why?

Why? This is a question I ask myself at times.

Why? Am I here?

Why? Am I am pain?

Why? Do I struggle?

Why? Can't we all get along?

And Why? Have I not been blessed with a beautiful daughter? 

Why?

As I reflect I realize I bring on many of these things myself
through the decisions I made in life.

The decision to join the Navy, made me stronger in character. 
Made me stronger as a person; but had its downfalls as well.
I loved to travel. I saw many exotic  countries; yet fought in wars
in Lebanon, Bosnia, Iraq and Afghanistan. 
I loved the sea life; yet was put down and struggled while on ship.
I loved socializing and meeting new people;
yet sometimes this led to mis-understanding.
Then I was injured when a cabinet fell and knocked me partly down a ladder-well;
causing muscle damage in my right shoulder, arthritis in my knees,
nerve damage in my neck, and pain and tingling through my right hand fingers.


Some of these things are not absolutely my fault,
but  are due to factors of the environment, community, and economy.

The environment causes me pain when it gets colder. 
The community is anti-social this day in age.
In this, so-called, high tech area of cell phones, twitter, and facebook;
I realize we are less social today, than we were back when I was a kid.
When I was a kid there were neighborhood block parties
where people socialized and got to know each other.
Where nieghbors were trustworthy and everyone knew each others children.
If a child was lost. A neighbor could take them in and call the parents. 
Not today.
It is nothing but mass messaging and it is anti-personal.
And the economy we struggle with monies and it is tough to make ends meet.

I ask Why?

But the answer is we make our own fate.
We have to pray daily and be guided by the lord.
We have to help one another and be more social.
And when someone needs guidance, encourage them.
Then we will have a better world.

Then when I keep the faith,
I will be blessed with an beautiful adopted daughter of my own one day.
God is good and I will praise him.